How to Help Your Friends When They Say They are Fine and You Know They are Not Fine

arch zine

Every Houstonian has been impacted by Hurricane Harvey.  If your own home was not flooded you certainly can rattle off several people you know who were.  The coming together of strangers and relief efforts have been inspiring and make me want to continue to help those in need.

I am sure many of you have called your friends and family and when you asked “how are you?” they answer “fine”.  But you KNOW they are not fine.  I recently read this article on Facebook shared by friend of a friend who survived both Katrina and Harvey.  The anonymous author has great information on how to approach those in need without them feeling needy.

Here are some ideas how you can reach out to your flooded friends:

Remember they are going to feel uncomfortable being in such a position of need. It’s painful to go from being self sufficient one day to suddenly not having a pair of shoes with no car to go and buy some new ones. Try to see a need and fill it without asking “what can I do?” Flooded mamas are exhausted and overwhelmed and it’s hard to answer that question. If you are going to help a friend clean out their homes, here are a few items that are helpful to bring.

Cleaning/Packing Supplies:
Masks- ventilator
Paper towel
Disposable gloves
Bleach
lysol/clorox wipes
Cardboard boxes
Packing tape
Sharpie
Boxcutters
Hand sanitizer
Handsoap
Mosquito repellent

Snacks:
Water bottles
Fresh fruit and veggies washed and cut up (we’ve all been eating highly processed food out of bags for days)

Ideas for questions to ask:
1. Does everyone in your family have shoes? If not, can I go pick some up? What size?
2. Do you have anyone coming to help you cut out walls? If not, can I call a few water mitigation companies to get quotes for you?
3. Do you have any laundry I can wash?
4. I have hand-me-downs from my kids, what sizes would be helpful?
5. Can I help arrange playdates for your kids?
6. Do you have any medications you would like me to call about getting replaced?
7. I’m making a trip to HEB today, please tell me 3 things I can pickup for you.
8. Can I pack a school lunch for your child this week?
9. Is there anywhere I could give you a ride to?
10. I’d like to take you to pickup your rental car. Please call me when it’s available.
11. Please call me when you are ready for a ride home after you drop off your rental car.

Check in with your friend a week or two later. There is a lot of help at the beginning. After a few weeks life goes back to normal for most, but flooded families are still trying to find a new normal.

Feature image courtesy of arch zine

About Roz Pactor

I am a fashion and marketing consultant and blogger based in Houston, Texas. With more than three decades of experience in fashion retailing that has spanned Foley’s, Neiman Marcus and Bloomingdale’s NYC, I have earned a reputation for delivering expertise, energy and enthusiasm to my roster of clients. I have remained closely connected with designer women’s fashion as well as the misses, teens, men’s and children’s apparel and accessories markets from coast to coast.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *